The rollercoaster from hell....I want off this ride!

We received some news yesterday that will probably change our lives forever. No matter how many times I've heard it, or say it myself, it doesn't seem real and that it's happening to us. For those of you who haven't heard, we found out that Levi has colon cancer. Yes, 28 years old, active, healthy and no family history, my husband has been diagnosed with cancer. I still can't believe this is real and can't quite wrap my mind around it. Of course everyone tells you to stay positive and have faith, and yes, I will try my best, but obviously you can't help but to think about the worst. Death. What would I do? It breaks my heart that there is a possibilty that Brecken would never know her amazing father. Everyone keeps saying, people beat this all the time...but people also lose all the time too. I know, playing the devil's advocate, but I would be lying if I said all these thoughts haven't crossed my mind. Maybe the Lord thinks I need a faith growing experience, and I probably do, but wow, this would not be the experience I choose. Can I please trade it for a new one??
All kidding aside, Levi has been the rock through it all. He's been the one comforting me, not the other way around, I must admit. He has been amazingly calm and positive, which is more than I can say. However yesterday evening and this morning after being on the phone and talking to people, I am feeling a surprising calm as well. Levi has always been the calm one and so many times he has brought me back down, and this situation is no different.
So Levi Rose, don't you leave me! I will be there for you every step of the way fighting and BEATING this together! As you have been saying, "I have cancer, cancer doesn't have me!" We can do this and we will become closer and stronger because of it. We still have many more memories and experiences to come. I love you so much.
I have never been a good journal writer, or even a journal writer at all. So in a sense, this blog has become my journal, and not to mention writing has been a bit theraputic for me. This is something my children (yes, and it better be children and not just child) will be reading in the future. I want them and everyone else to know that I KNOW that our family is eternal and I'm so grateful for that knowledge through the gospel. Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ suffered all and knows all, we can turn to Him through whatever challenges and trials we face, no matter how unexpected. I am so grateful for the priesthood powers and know they can heal Levi. Never in my life have I been through anything remotely close to this, and I know it will bring us to our knees in prayer more than ever before. I don't know what the Lord has in mind for us in His eternal plan, but I hope we can turn to Him and trust in Him and get out of this trial what he intends for us to learn. We may never know the purpose for us going through this, but I know there is a reason. Just as I was thinking my life is so great, with a brand new baby and how fortunate and blessed we are, we get turned for a loop. Speaking of how fortunate we are, because of my job at UPS, we have INCREDIBLE health insurance, and money will not not have to be an added stress to the situation and I can't be grateful enough.
We have been overwhelmed with everyone's love, support, thoughts and prayers. People keep asking what they can do for us, well, I don't think there's much anyone can do but remember us, and especially Levi in their prayers. I know I speak for both of us when we say thank you to everyone so far for the kind words, support and prayers...please keep them coming.
I will of course keep everyone updated, and as of right now, we don't know a whole lot. We are meeting with the surgeon on Tuesday afternoon (an eternity away) to determine severity and course of action. We are going to learn more about cancer in these next few weeks than we ever wanted to know.
Everything is going to be ok.....

Much Love,
Kelsie