.

39.5 weeks.

2012-02-01T07:24:00.000-07:00

And yes, I'm taking credit for that half. I feel like every day is an accomplishment at this point. I'm so T.I.R.E.D. I don't remember being this tired at the end last time. Maybe it's because I'm chasing around a crazy 2.5 year old that likes to growl at everything and everyone and is exiled to time out multiple times a day for not L.I.S.T.E.N.I.N.G. Seriously, defintely our biggest challenge. I'm sure I'm not alone. I also feel that I might scream if I have to pee more than once within a 30 minute period. And I counted the other night, I got up every hour, so that's like 7 times. It can't get much worse than that, right?! So, I'm actually hoping I'll sleep better AFTER the baby comes?! Wishful thinking?!?

I've gained less weight this time, but seriously cringe at the thought of my jeans I bought at the beginning of pregnancy. I wear black leggings pretty much every day, and I'm pretty sure Levi is tired of seeing those. Sorry babe, comfort first at this point is the #1 priority. I think carrying the pregnancy weight, plus a ~~flailing~~ 30lb. two year old all the time has made all my weight gain turn to muscle. Plus, I hear funfetti cake and mini m&m's turn fat to muscle. Hope that's right! :)

So, as of Thursday AM, this baby is coming whether she likes it or not. I was caught off gaurd when the doc asked if I wanted an elective induction before my 40 week mark (which is Sunday, so not far off), and I immediately replied no. But then it was brought to my attention that well, Thursday would work better with Levi's work schedule, my mom could get here in time, we could arrange for B to be taken care of and most important, I could shave my legs and get my pedicure in time. Priorities people. JK.

Actually, having a date set, freaks me out. Makes it a little too real. For being such a planner, I like the idea of surprise with this and it all coming on it's own. Induction kind of scares me, but that's ok, I'm sure it will all be fine. And 2.2.12 is a nice date. And of course it's been a dream of mine to have a Groundhog Day baby. Dreams really do come true!

It's all a little bittersweet. I'm one of those people that actually enjoys being pregnant (for the most part) and have now been blessed with 2 easy pregnancies (minus a few weeks of morning sickness, not many escape that wrath). It's kind of one of those things I don't want to take forgranted, because I know there are so many that might not get to experience this, me being one of them on this 2nd round. So actually, I'm grateful for all the pee breaks, sleepless nights, weight gain, crazy horomones and rolling around like a beached whale when trying to get off the floor. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful it's not permanent, but it's all worth it when you get a precious baby out of the whole deal, which will all be happening in about 24 hours.

And then our lives will change forever, again. Change is hard...and scary. I'm comfortable with the way things are now. We have a routine and it works. It's as easy as life can be with a two year old, which definitely isn't all the time! And the guilt. That's one of those things that comes up often in my sleepless nights. That and the fact I have to go back to work kills me. But, such is life. We all have to do things we don't want to do. But, back to the guilt. I'm sure every mother has felt this with every birth of their subsequent children. And I know it will instantly happen once I hold that baby, but I think, how can I possibly have more love to share that what I'm already giving my first. And poor Brecken's whole existence as she knows it is over. I know it will be an adjustment for all of us, I just hope it's all for the better.

Good thing I've been kept pretty busy to keep my mind off of things with work and my new calling as 2nd councilor in the Relief Society Presidency. Yeah, didn't see that one coming AT ALL. I keep saying this a mom calling and Levi keeps reminding me I AM a mom. Guess I'm getting old...

So there ya go, all the emotional thoughts of a crazy pregnant lady and almost mom of two.

2012-01-28T11:29:00.001-07:00

Feeding the birds with daddy

2012-01-26T19:15:00.002-07:00

Ride em' Cowgirl

2012-01-21T23:34:00.002-07:00

B at the National Western Stock Show.

We kept asking her if she was scared before we paid the 6 bucks, but she insisted she wasn't. And she loved it. I thought it was appropriate she rode the horse named Tex :)

2012-01-10T22:44:00.002-07:00

Really?? Why??

unfortunately....

2012-01-10T18:20:00.001-07:00

this...

has led to this...

Ever watch Ellen?

2012-01-06T15:17:00.002-07:00

What's wrong with this photo, photo!?

2012-01-06T11:14:00.002-07:00

You would think we don't have a bed for the poor child...

National Western Stock Show Parade with Daddy

2012-01-05T16:55:00.002-07:00

Beautiful day in Denver! High of 70!

2011-12-27T20:23:00.001-07:00

Her cousins got a new puppy. So stinkin' cute.

christmas.

2011-12-27T18:05:00.001-07:00

christmas eve she opened her christmas day church outfit. lovely, isn't it?

the santa loot.

the tramp that santa conveniently found in grandma's basement. he should have stopped there, this has been the most popular gift.

and yeah, i got a new lens for myself for christmas and i'm a bit challenged. a lot of these turned out blurry...grrr. now i guess i need lessons to go along with!

b and slutty barbie (a gift from earlier in the week that really needs to be thrown away!)

poor girl, i don't think felt very good...and it showed. a good christmas nonetheless. we ended up saving some presents for the evening due to lack of enthusiasm and we got a much better reaction then...back to her old, bouncy self.

Moms are the best.

2011-12-27T15:45:00.003-07:00

Ironing Levi's MOUND of shirts. And let me tell you, Levi does not have a shortage of work shirts. I have a lot of skills, ironing is definitely not one of them. Thanks Mom, you're the best!

Big Al's. YUM.

2011-12-21T20:52:00.003-07:00

When we were in UT, we of course had to eat at dad's new store. Twice.

The best surprise was seeing Cindy and her family. She randomly was in UT and randomly came for lunch when we were there. It was so fun to meet her two cute girls. (Cindy and I grew up together)

Hermana Payne Returns.

2011-12-21T20:44:00.001-07:00

We were so glad we could be there for when Callie came home. She hadn't seen Brecken since she was 9 months old. I'd say by the look of her shoes, she worked hard! But we are glad to have her home!

proud new owner.

2011-12-18T15:58:00.002-07:00

I ordered this on Black Friday and it's been sitting in the box in my dining room while I've debated if I really wanted to keep it. I finally decided, what the heck!? I look at these EVERY Black Friday and never do it. So now it's just DONE.

Must say, I thoroughly enjoyed using it this afternoon.

Snickerdoodles anyone!?

Random Blue Bowl Story: Freshman year at BYU, I had a "meal plan" but at the end of the semester, you use it or lose what's left on your card. Fortunately, you could use it at the BYU Creamery where they had a little market with random groceries/kitchen items. Yep, I bought a set of three of these blue mixing bowls and these are STILL my main, and only mixing bowls. I had bought a hand-mixer too, but that finally burned out a couple of years ago. So there ya go, random blue bowl story.

unsuccessful santa visit.

2011-12-18T15:55:00.000-07:00

Line was waaaaaay to long. But hey, at least she got to ride the carousel. This probably went over much better than her sitting ~~screaming~~ on Santa's lap anyway. She at least got to see him, but I think she liked seeing the fishies better (at Bass Pro Shop). Yeah, worth your time to just got pay for a picture at the mall than wait in the free line there.

freedom.

2011-12-18T15:30:00.003-07:00

Since we moved B to a twin mattress about a week ago, we have found her sleeping in some interesting places/positions. Kind of surprising for a girl that really only sleeps in her bed.

This is what I found when I went to bed the other night.

Nap one afternoon.

Aren't they precious when they're sleeping!?

Rookie of the year.

2011-12-17T23:03:00.002-07:00

So proud of Levi and his accomplishments this year. He got this award at his company's Christmas party tonight.

ugly christmas sweater party

2011-12-11T15:58:00.002-07:00

Ok, first I have to say, I'm a lame picture taker. This was seriously all I got. We had 15 couples over and 3 pictures? Must.Do.Better!

But here we are, me at 32 weeks and Levi's lovely sling from shoulder surgery.

Don't you love the goose on his sweater!? And even though you can't see my sweater all that well, it totally reminded me of a sweater my cousin D (from West, TX, you know who you are) would have worn back in the day. All said with LOVE :)

My sister in laws, Holly and Melissa

And the winner of the ugliest sweater, Bill. It was pretty awesome, especially accompanied by the classic white turtle neck. Yes, those are little stuffed people hanging off the ladder while decorating the tree.

The long awaited house pictures...

2011-12-11T15:24:00.003-07:00

I know I said I'd do this forever ago, and I'm just now getting around to doing it. I think I kept avoiding it because of lack of decorations, but if I wait on that, then it will never happen!

So, for the few interested, here ya go...

View when you walk in the front door into the formal living room (that I could care less about).

Office

Formal dining (that I thought I'd hate) but we actually got to use it the other night, the extra space was perfect.

View off our back deck at the open space and (now frozen) pond.

View from living room to kitchen. I LOVE all my cabinet space.

Living room

Master bedroom

Master bathroom that used to be all white tile and white tile countertops that we had ripped and re-done.

Guest room

Brecken's room is now in transition of getting a big girl bed so we can move out her crib into the soon to be nursery for baby girl in just 8 weeks. We drug in the twin mattress and laid it on the floor last night and had a successful night and now nap this afternoon. Crossing my fingers that continues!

Thanksgiving.

2011-11-25T00:11:00.000-07:00

Grateful for the giggles of these three little blonde cousins on this beautiful day in Colorado, while the adults enjoyed a (relatively) peaceful turkey lunch. We hosted at our house, a first. And actually a first being in town since moving here 6 years ago. But the food was delicious (Levi did an excellent job on the turkey, another first) and the company was equally as great. We certainly have a lot to be thankful for.

The Owl (aka the Hawk)

2011-11-19T16:00:00.001-07:00

This red-tailed hawk was injured and couldn't fly. It ended up on our fence while we called Animal Control and we had a whole audience to keep an eye on it. B kept calling it an owl.

Animal Control got here and tried catching it in a net. He missed a couple of times and it ended up in our garage! Levi closed the door and the guy went in thru the house to get in the garage to catch it. If all goes well it will get healed up and they will bring it right back to our neighborhood. That's good because it's mate was sitting out on a nearby tree keeping watch.

2011-11-19T15:53:00.000-07:00

Helping Daddy hang Christmas lights.

Casualties

2011-11-14T21:14:00.003-07:00

The victims?

The ever so coveted b, aka the binkie.

It now hangs around her neck, her crucifix, I've been calling it...in remembrance of course.

The carnage. I think it was harder for me than her :(

Even Minnie got a new necklace.

No, it hasn't been all peaches n' cream, but I will admit it hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. Nap time has been the hardest. We had a few rough days with one time of screaming for 2 straight hours, but she is napping better now, just does everything possible to procrastinate, stall and delay getting in bed. Potty, drink, book, book again, rock, snack, light on/off, doors closed, covered up, socks on, having the right stuffed animals in bed...you get the point. We are exhausted just by getting her to bed!

But, it was definitely over due and I'm glad it went better than I feared. I even saved the daunting task for while I was on vacation so everyone else wouldn't have to deal with an unruly, whiny two year old. But I sure do love her!

halloweeeeened out.

2011-11-01T15:39:00.005-06:00

minnie and her winnings at the church trunk-or-treat.

daddy went as a gimp this year.

b and one of her besties, logan the cowboy.

helping daddy hand out (or more like eat) candy after we hit up all the other trunks.

kissing mickey. every time she has walked by the pumpkin, she says, "daddy made it!"

the crew's pumpkins.

mannie-ty (yes, it's said as one word) and b

b loved levi's costume and insisted upon holding his hand the whole night. (oops, looks like ty is trying to grab his crotch, ha.)

it didn't take long for her to catch on to the idea of trick-or-treating. but does it for any kid!? she was always the first one up at the door, no matter how scary the porch was (all the other kids were a little nervous at some), she didn't care...she just knew she got candy! it was a proud moment for her daddy, being the candy-lover that he is.

Come Back!

2011-10-24T17:32:00.001-06:00

Grandy's plane is taking off right about now and we miss her already! B had so much fun playing with Grandy and even had a picnic in her new playhouse. Mommy also helped me by sorting thru baby clothes with me, (a task too daunting alone!) cleaning, laundry, started potty training (so far not too bad!) and the biggest...ironing for at least FIVE hours to get all of Levi's shirts done so he doesn't have to iron while his knee is healing (since I perhaps only have one shortfall, ironing :)) Wow, I think that was a very long, run-on sentence. We just can't thank Grandy enough, come back soon...and for longer!

it's officially official...TODAY

2011-10-19T08:58:00.002-06:00

BIG AL'S is OPEN TODAY! Go check it out, all you Utah people. It's in Provo on the west side of University by the Provo Towne Center Mall.

I may or may not have teared up driving to work this morning thinking of my dad and how proud and happy I am for him. He's worked so hard and it's dream come true for him. He's definitely been blessed to meet the right people to make this all possible. I'm SO sad I can't be there today for the opening, so this picture fix (thanks Raelene) will have to do. My dad refused to send me pictures because "I had to see it in person." Well, I don't really have that option right now, (SOON) so I was so excited to see these pictures posted on FB.

the pumpkin patch.

2011-10-15T14:58:00.003-06:00

with a couple of her besties, "mannie" (aka maddyn) and ty

tired of falling in the mini corn maze for the 100th time...

2011-10-09T15:29:00.004-06:00

i've been meaning to post these from when we were in ut. our good friend kelli eudis took these real quick after dinner at my parent's house one night. family pictures attempts with a two-year- old = challenging!

the "i don't know" look

My little helper.

2011-10-01T19:11:00.000-06:00

2011-09-25T22:28:00.002-06:00

Wow my blog is lame. So at least here is a picture seeing the fire trucks with b's little friend, jace, last weekend. Doesn't she look so old here!? Hope to have something more picture worthy soon!

2011-09-10T08:01:00.002-06:00

Grandpa got b some m&m's at home depot a couple of weeks ago. What a mess!
Speaking of mess, moving is quite a mess...and so much work! Remind me to never move again. Or a least not when I'm pregnant. I don't think I've ever been so tired on moving day...and the days after for that matter. Levi worked so hard for 2 weeks to get the house move-in ready and he still has an endless list of projects :). B is getting used to the new house and I think she likes it. I have had some amazing friends who have saved me by coming to help me clean, organize, unpack and even do laundry. If your mom isn't here, that's a 2nd best! I don't know what I would do if I moved somewhere we didn't know anyone. Die I think, ha.

Seems like there is always something that is unplanned. Like how we had to buy a new a/c unit 4 days after we closed (there went my new leather couches!) or b almost flooded the house the day after closing when she plugged the master tub and left the water running. Oops. Or when levi had to paint the ceiling 4 times in the kitchen/ living room and was so frustrated or when 5 people tried to look at our fridge to lower it so it would fit under our cabinet. And levi spent 30 minutes at midnight the day we moved in trying to break the wheels and finally seeing where the bolt was to do it properly. Finding out we have/had mice at some point in the basement. Still not sure what the case is. And the worst, missing our niece's baptism because u-haul didn't care to share we could have kept the truck for 24 hours when we were killing ourselves to get it back by the 6pm deadline. Awesome. And me misplacing my wedding ring like 3 times...just to name a few. Oh and pretty sure levi hates me for buying 3 pieces of furniture at ikea that come in 4 million pieces that he has to put together :). How much is assembly service!? Might be worth my marriage :). Jk. Sort of. Did I mention I made him paint stripes on one of my master walls? Yeah, he loved me for that too. Pictures of the new place to come soon, we love it. Was worth the 6 month wait!

the festivities.

2011-08-17T13:49:00.004-06:00

my little brother drew got married this last weekend in ut. there was talk of the pre-pre-party, the pre-party, the party and the reception. basically one big party where no one walked away hungry. mmm, already missing all the good food. and b is already having a hard time as we try to de-tox from all the sugar. this was only the beginning {her birthday cake from grandy} of her cake/cookie/candy binges. at the reception we think she ate something like 6 cake pops, several cookies, several glasses of lemonade and taffy. oh, and started helping her self to some random lady's beans.

daddy fixing b's hair when she got to temple square while waiting for drew and sarah to come out. love that my man can fix little girl's hair, so cute. {while sipping on the squirt bottle}

the mr. and mrs.

love this one of drew and dad with their natural smiles and handsomeness. and then love that sarah is hugging her mom in the background.

yep, she's got attitude.

the pretty flower girl. thanks for the new dress aunt sarah! {b's obsession in ut: SARAH}

love that i got to see old friends {yes, i'm counting you too taylor :)}. we are all expecting, lauren: 9 months, me: 4 months, taylor: 8 months.

and another good, old friend, chris.

i realized i wished i would have taken more pictures, as always! no pictures of aunts, uncles, cousins, friends....ahh. oh well. we had such a fun time and the wedding and reception was beautiful. the only thing missing...our favorite aunt callie!

2011-08-16T21:21:00.001-06:00

are we home yet!? yes, my child is throwing a tantrum on the floor in the airport. i preferred her doing this and being still in one place as opposed to pregnant lady chasing two year old with two heavy bags. and yes, the two year old was winning.

2011-08-16T21:17:00.001-06:00

ready to go home and see daddy!

first dentist visit.

2011-08-16T14:48:00.000-06:00

with grandy of course. and she held so still and was a good little patient.

2011-08-16T14:43:00.000-06:00

B sporting all my old medals from high school.

sunday afternoon.

2011-08-14T23:00:00.002-06:00

razor ridin with pops.

cuddlin with grandy.

2011-08-09T21:55:00.001-06:00

At the stevie nicks concert at red rocks. Perhaps getting a little high...

county fair.

2011-08-06T15:07:00.002-06:00

...and b's birthday!

not a fan of the little tractor pull, and i'm not a fan of the crazy old guy, ha.

lucky girl got ice cream and snow cone on her special day.

daddy won her a ducky.

2011-08-02T21:34:00.001-06:00

the two essentials.

2011-08-01T14:51:00.001-06:00

the b's. THE binkie and blankie. ohhh, the necessary evils...the addiction...the need (for all parties involved). what to do, what to do. well, there is no questioning what to do with the blankie. i will never take that away. unless she wants to take it to school, then it's a definitely not. but she can sleep with it her whole life for all i care. good thing she has 5 and she has no preference to any of them. in fact, she's very good about throwing one in the dirty laundry when i tell her to. like when it's drug around the entire church building, including nursery (gross). or around the restaurant and pretty much EVERYWHERE. Again, really, truly, thank goodness she has five!

but oh the binkie. she is getting too old. i don't really like her talking with a mouth full of binkie and i don't know if i'm ready to make the commitment of yanking one of her comforts and lifelines away. and i have all sorts of excuses for not doing it yet, going on a trip, coming back and moving, don't want to cause too much havoc and change for the poor girl, right!? i think that cold turkey would kill us all. considering cutting them away, that's what evil was done to me. pretty sure i'm scarred for life. jk. yeah, i don't remember it all...and neither will she. but she loves it so. and the b's really are a combo. she can't have one without the other, as you can see.

wait, my mom is coming in october. maybe make her do it? that and potty training. GREAT idea, right mom!? love ya! ;)

2011-08-01T14:49:00.001-06:00

I thought she was waking up from her nap, but when i laid her down to change her, she fell back asleep, FOR OVER AN HOUR. Ha. I'm just glad she didn't roll off!

party for two.

2011-07-30T14:18:00.004-06:00

b's cute mickey mouse cake levi was just thrilled about making on his days off ;) thanks babe!

cache's cake and masterpiece by melissa

daddy and the birthday girl. daddy kissing b, and b kissing mommy?

me and the birthday girl

the other birthday boy, cachey as b calls him.

blowing out the candles. or maybe the wind helped a bit...

it was so fun sharing a party with cache and all our friends and family at the pool for their 2nd birthday. brecken and cache are exactly 2 weeks apart, so we picked the week right in the middle. she isn't officially two until August 5th. it was a little windy in the beginning, but ended up being a beautiful evening. we have some generous family and friends. good thing we are getting a new house, i need it just for her new toys! :)

2011-07-30T13:46:00.002-06:00

yes, you saw that right. brecken's worst nightmare will be entering the world in february 2012. she will be dethroned and derailed from all she knows. maybe i'll be pleasantly surprised if i have zero expectations!?

we are very excited to be adding to our family and we got our new house just in time! moving labor day weekend if all goes as planned!

2011-07-25T17:50:00.000-06:00

Proud new suitcase owner. Thanks Aunt Karan for the bday gift, I already packed all my toys to go see Grandy and Pops!

the fourth.

2011-07-09T09:41:00.003-06:00

3rd of july sunday best

4th at the shaw's. yummy popsicle.

our messy girl.

our brave girl.

passed out after fireworks and a long, fun day.

strawberries in the buggy

2011-07-09T09:36:00.002-06:00

messy but happy :)

2011-07-09T09:35:00.000-06:00

at the park a few weeks ago.

little man ice cream

2011-06-28T21:15:00.003-06:00

missing the eudis's who introduced us to this little gem :(

2011-06-28T21:13:00.002-06:00

saturday afternoon at the carlson lake.

22 months and counting

2011-06-20T22:41:00.003-06:00

b lately.

drama. attitude. talking up a storm. and attitude. did i mention attitude, oh and drama? and latest obsession: mickey mouse clubhouse. she would watch it all. day. long. if we would let her. {is it bad it's tempting at times!?}

some of her latest words:
huuvy : heavy
sigh : outside
stuh : stuck
owie
no way!!
here ya go
heh-yo : hello {while walking around holding the phone between her face and shoulder}
tootie
wah : walk
ha : hot {at the slightest warm temperature, it's hot to her}
nack : snack
quee : treat
mou or minnie mou : for mickey mouse
goofy
donald
daisy
pluto
where'd he/she/it go?
ya-yule : cereal
buh : book
heen up, heen up : clean up {like the start of the Primary song}
cheese
Hammi : Sammi
toy
apple
luh you : love you
bigh : bite, actually more like BIIIGGHHH!!
b : binkie {B!!!!!!!!}
boi : blankie
hep : help or HEEPPPP!!!!
pho : phone or PPHHHOO {are you gathering she can be a little demanding?}

side note: do you think 2 years old is too young to get her her own iphone? i'd like mine back. jk. sort of.

to offset the demands, she at least has to use her manners and say...pease : please
ty : our cute little neighbor boy
sucy : lucy {baby cousin}

side : slide

izzie ball : sausage ball {a staple breakfast item}

she also likes to poke at her eyeball in the car indicating she wants her sunglasses, point at her tongue for food, point at her ears for earrings and point at her throat for a necklace.

to request an under-dog on the swing, she leans her head back.

she also likes "this little piggy went to market, "loves for daddy to pop all her toes {gross}, and we can only get her to brush her teeth when singing "Old McDonald" and she joins in on the E-I-E-I-O.

b has also been sleeping in later these days. thanks to a little trickery of hanging {actually clothes-pinning} a blanket over the window. it's definitely a nice touch to the decor. wait, what decor? oh yeah, i took it down 3 months ago because WE WERE SUPPOSED TO MOVE! {sorry for the frustrated side tangent} why didn't we think of this sooner? it can often be as late as 9am. nice. especially on the weekends.

ok, that's all i can think of for now.

oh yeah, and i really love this girl. she makes my day. everyday. and gives the best fishy kisses. ever.

2011-06-18T09:10:00.001-06:00

bitter beer face by b.

a couple of things..

2011-05-29T22:28:00.004-06:00

first. levi had a PET scan and check-up with his oncologist this week. healthy as a horse! minus the need for shoulder and knee surgery that we are keep waiting on to schedule until we hear about our house. i'm pretty sure i'm in for a life long of some sort of surgery about every other year or so with this guy. yay for me :) i'm just so grateful he is cancer free on his year mark out. we are so blessed.

second. this recipe blog. i am obsessed. it takes a lot for a recipe blog to catch my attention. i am no food connoisseur, not even close. i just like everything to be easy. and that's what these have been, oh and good. i made 4 recipes in the last week alone. All of which, two were a love and 2 were a like. not bad! ok, so i kind of know this gal. not really. but sort of. through association. that counts, right? ok, so i know her mother-in-law. m-i-l lives in the stake here, and raised her family here. and her d-i-l lives in florida. check it out!

2011-05-23T18:53:00.001-06:00

My first pig tails :)

hi, my name is brecken,

2011-05-07T20:53:00.004-06:00

and i'm almost two. can you tell??

and this is pretty much how our day went.

yep, we gave in to the b.

oh look, a smile on the train ride she LOVED.

while b was a grouch, i got a few cute pics of our favorite neighbor/park friends.

cute m.

and cute little brother t.

a short visit

2011-04-27T23:09:00.002-06:00

Pops had a long lay-over here so we were more than happy to go pick him up so he could see b. We had fun at the park and grabbing some dinner. So glad it worked out!

a family easter

2011-04-27T22:01:00.003-06:00

all the cousins

with grandma & grandpa

the original rose family

siblings

my sweet family

justin & melissa's family

holly & dylan's family

tara & tristan

posing is much more manly...when up in a tree.

and the crack up of the day: as the awesome mother i am, i went to wipe her runny nose with the bottom of her dress and found her bloomers still attached from when daddy got her dressed. i died laughing...seriously, hilarious.

b on the hunt.

2011-04-25T15:12:00.004-06:00

brecken had no problem picking up the easter egg concept...nor did she have a problem figuring out what candy was. i'm pretty sure that's all she ate...and loved every bite :)

community hunt.

2011-04-25T15:02:00.002-06:00

2011-04-22T16:04:00.001-06:00

a few videos

2011-04-21T21:57:00.005-06:00

iphone randoms

2011-04-21T21:51:00.007-06:00

check out the bubble triangle top.

yeah my friend's mom got a little carried away with the blue bell. i was very proud :)

vroom vroom...beep beep

2011-04-20T17:05:00.002-06:00

the latest obsession and craig's list deal.

i refuse to get out of my car to play at the park.

oh and grandy came for a nice long visit. we miss her already!

crocodile tears.

2011-04-20T16:58:00.003-06:00

our little rag-a-muffin at her finest :)

first bubble bath.

2011-04-02T21:52:00.009-06:00

yum.

82 degrees

2011-04-02T21:26:00.008-06:00

today was b-e-a-utiful. it would have been the perfect day for moving, but since that didn't happen {hopefully in a couple of weeks} b and i took full advantage by going for a nice run and playing outside. i think she asked me about a million times today, "where's daddy?" what can i say? she loves her daddy!

our b @ 20 months.

love this little face.

she really is laughing here, not crying.

nice to see you again camera. you have been in hibernation, along with us, all winter. i hope to be using you a lot more!

new ride.

2011-04-02T20:28:00.004-06:00

airplane.

not bad for a free bike we pulled out of our neighbor's trash pile. she's in love. word of the day: bike. if only her little legs were about two inches longer.

the gift that keeps giving

2011-03-18T14:37:00.002-06:00

Cancer.

First, must clarify. Cancer has NOT returned in any shape or form, only the ramifications that linger.

Most of you know we "banked" some specimen for future children since we were not sure the effects that chemo would have on Levi. We had six samples, four of which are now gone. I've gone through 4 cycles/months of IUI's (intrauterine inceptions). None of which were successful. No one knew we were going through this process and now that we have exhausted our efforts with this procedure, it's therapeutic for me to write about it. (Sorry Mom)

I don't do so well in verbally communicating emotional topics. I couldn't stand to share that we were going in for a procedure one day…wait two weeks to take a pregnancy test and then find it negative, times four. And then have to make a phone call and answer the questions of, "how did it go?" I'm sure I was a little naive thinking it would work just like that since IUI's only have a 15% success rate, but it has a higher chance than the "regular" way, and I had no issues getting pregnant with Brecken.

So next option, in-vitro fertilization (IVF), with a nice little price tag of $15k (and that's with their sympathy cancer discount of $2K). The cocky little doctor felt he was doing us this huge favor (as I roll my eyes). We have two samples left. Now, I hate to jump to this option when we aren't sure if Levi will be sterile or not. But right now, he has about 1% motility, which is pretty much next to nothing. I don't want to turn to IVF right away thinking if it came back in the next several months, we could get pregnant for "free" and save our self 15 grand. What are the odds? 50/50? I don't know, a waiting game I guess.

I have definitely come to empathize with the many friends and family that have dealt with fertility issues. I know this is a sensitive subject and I'm definitely not here to say my story is any harder or easier than the next person, it's just my story. Fertility is definitely an emotional and expensive roller coaster.

Scheduling your life around when you are ovulating and certain tests that need to be done at very specific times of the month. It's crazy. Not to mention the blood tests that show you need to be on this and that medication. You really start thinking, what is wrong with me? It's also been hard to bring myself down from the last 4 months of the excitement about being pregnant again to thinking, ok, maybe in a year?? Maybe.

I have never really been the super motherly type growing up, you are talking to the wrong Payne girl, that was my sister. But now that I have a taste of this motherhood thing, I love it and wouldn't change it for the world. I can understand I might be a little premature with all these thoughts, but still thoughts and emotions I'm having none the less. I'm totally grateful for my one and she is such a blessing if I'm not able to have more, but I can't help the feeling of not feeling done and yearning for more children. Kinda hard to think we wanted 4-5 kids, to now thinking we will be lucky if we can have a second. Just a bit crazy/emotional that we bought a Tahoe at the beginning of the year and now buying a bigger house in hopes of our expanding family. Is this all in vain? I hope not. I hope and pray I will have the opportunity to experience it at least one more time...

3.14.2011

2011-03-16T15:09:00.004-06:00

this is the day colorado changed forever.
this is the day i have been looking forward to for weeks.
this is the day the most amazing, delicious, best ice cream on the planet, became available in colorado. BLUE BELL.

b and i had to make a special trip to the grocery store just for this...

she already has a reputation...

2011-03-16T15:06:00.004-06:00

for dishin' out these dirty ones...boy we are in trouble {and i think some are starting to get offended}.

18 (almsot 19) months

2011-03-02T20:24:00.000-07:00

for the record:

weight: 22.12 lbs (25%)
height: 31.5 in (25-50%)
head: 18 in (25-50%)

at 18 months:

you are a busy body (nothing new there)
LOVE to be a nakie girl
HATE changing clothes/diaper
LOVE to sleep only in a bed
Sleeping from about 8-7:30
Signing lots (dog, cat, ball, more, drink (a million times), shoes, bird, brecken (by patting your face, courtesy of grandma twila), eat, airplane, car (also saying several of these things)
Napping twice a day (if we are lucky) but probably averaging more towards one.
Loves drinking out of a cup, tastes so much better, right?
Loves fruit and green beans are the favorite vegetable
It's crazy how much instruction you understand like, shut the ___, let's feed Sammi, get in your chair, pick it up, daddy's home...
Just started calling your binkie, your "b"
And is everyone bored yet, except grandparents?? I'm sure I could write a million more things if I sat here long enough...

Now a few iPhone pics from the last month or so...

at the doctor for our 18 month check up.

if you don't like the weather in denver...

2011-02-19T17:43:00.000-07:00

wait a minute, and it will change.

as much as i hate the cold and snow, we luckily get little breaks (or a teaser) to keep us sane. today was one of those days.

so cool in her new shades...cracks me up.

aspiring to something bigger and better...one day.

happy heart day.

2011-02-14T19:36:00.001-07:00

my pathetic attempt at getting a picture of a squirmy 18 month old. happy valentine's day.

the price we pay for beauty...

2011-02-06T12:37:00.001-07:00

or convenience...or stupidity...i dont know.

but i got tatted up. yeah ok, it's really just cosmetic makeup, but sounds way cooler to say i got a tattoo, right!?

the morning after...{yes, lovely i know} but you need to see this so you can appreciate the after :)

just one week later...

i first got this done in april, but had it touched up again when i was in utah. seriously hurts, but seriously worth it to never have to put eyeliner on again! apparently i'm "harder" to work on than the average person. but seriously, who can really lie there and "act like they're asleep" with a tattoo needle in their eye!? apparently not me.

{i can truly appreciate why one might want to have a little somethin-somethin to drink before going anywhere near a tattoo parlor. believe me, it crossed my mind, jk. sort of.}

quick trip.

2011-02-01T20:25:00.002-07:00

playing in the toy bin.

she insisted she sit at the little table and chairs. this sort of kills me, getting so big! i see a set like this in our future.

b and grandy.

she loves to play this finger game with pops. she reaches out her finger...

and when they touch he says..."kaboom!"

the great dilemma. i found pops offering b a piece of snicker doodle and chocolate cake. i can proudly say she refused both. {though i can't say she wasn't snuck some snicker doodle another time} good thing we were on vacation...she's not so lucky at home since she doesn't really get sugar.

playing at the airport with pops waiting for our flight to head back to denver to sub-zero temperatures. brrr...oh how i hate the cold {it's been a high of a whole -2 degrees today}.

b and i flew out for a long weekend to hang out with grandy and pops. my trips always consist of a couple torture treatments {laser hair removal and teeth cleaning} and of course cool things like tattoos; more on this later. {but i have you wanting to know really what i'm talking about, right? :)} next post. i got to invite some friends over for dinner. it was so great to see old friends {brandon/kelli & pete/anne}. i just wish levi would have been there. he was missed, but hard at work.

the party however, came to an abrubt end when our friend's little boy, ryan, {who had the best intentions of being helpful} wanted to carry brecken down the basement stairs. my mom kind of freaked out and yelled for him to stop when she saw what was playing out. This only scared him and he ended up dropping her head-first down the stairs, where she tumbled about 15 stairs and was two steps shy of hitting the concrete floor at the bottom. both b and ryan were shaken up, but no broken bones and no blood. only a couple bumps on her head, which is nothing unusual these days. nothing like adding a little excitement to the party and i'm sure one of many instances with her and other future children.

it's something special to see your parents with your children. kinda makes me laugh, she just melts them like butta. thanks for the trip. as always, it's too short!

all i have to say...

2011-01-22T07:37:00.002-07:00

is january is lame. and cold and gray and boring. this blog has been lame, and the following pictures are pretty lame. but an update none the less. a few pics while we {err, i mean levi} was cooking dinner.

goin in for the kiss...

oh but a distraction...

and a...DENIED by b {a very common occurance}

getting into everything...

and now can open doors...

but she now has learned to fold her arms during the prayer, or at least temporarily...

good thing this month is almost over...and one month closer to spring, i think we are all a little stir crazy.

silly girl

2011-01-02T16:24:00.000-07:00

christmas

2011-01-02T16:22:00.000-07:00

the attempt of a picture under the tree

hmm, interesting...

i guess i will help...

then this cute little reaction {though she had zero clue that this is toy story, much less a movie}

no, she didn't get a razor, but she got these cute little princess slippers from aunt kim, and she LOVES them.

we had a nice, low key christmas, very enjoyable. next year will be much more fun with brecken. i think she will really start to be getting it. until next year...

16 months

2010-12-22T11:43:00.001-07:00

{i wrote this about a month ago and kept forgetting to get a picture to go with...so here ya go, b at about 16.5 months}

16 months. kind of a random milestone, but i feel like brecken has changed and grown so much in the last month, it's crazy. she is learning so much and catches on to new things so quickly. this is more for my records, but this is what she has been up to lately:

talking: ball, dog/doggie, mamma, daddy, boo, uh-oh, whoa, and a million times a day, "what's that?" when we say, "what does santa say?" she says, "ho, ho"

signing: please, thank you, drink, more, ball, bird, all done

things she loves: her einstein/signing movies, music to dance, giving sammi a treat, phones, running, her binkie/blankie combo. we try to restrict these to sleeping, but when she gets tired and she's about ready for bed, we ask her if she wants them and she gets the funniest, laugh/cry and nods her head yes.

we still don't really feed her sugar, and i think my family might turn us in to child protective services for this cruelty :)

she is sleeping from about 8pm to 7:30am and is still taking 2 naps a day (thank you).

she is such a joy and we are having so much fun learning with her. she makes us laugh and smile every day and we couldn't be more blessed.

merry christmas.

2010-12-19T09:11:00.000-07:00

my favorite christmas gift this year.

2010-12-17T16:03:00.001-07:00

b made this for us at day care today. brought tears to my eyes, i thought it was so sweet.

this is the first of many of these little hand made gifts i will receive over the years and ones i will cherish forever. thanks b.

you might be a redneck

2010-12-11T21:06:00.000-07:00

if you have santa peeing off your porch. but family tradition {sort of}.

but yet another beautiful presentation by levi.

oh man, we are mean parents

2010-12-11T20:57:00.000-07:00

to knowingly sit your child on a strangers lap just to get a picture of them screaming at the top of their lungs. oh how i love it.

look, santa's arm got run over by a reindeer.

thanksgiving 2010

2010-12-04T11:56:00.000-07:00

b loved the rocking horse and singing santa.

grandy & pops with b

thanks for hosting karan & jon, we had a great time!

this year we traveled to west texas for thanksgiving. minus me having the stomach flu the entire time (and therefore getting hardly any pictures), the company was great and the food at least looked good :). I guess the flu contributed to a nice holiday weight loss program.

levi's latest

2010-11-20T16:16:00.001-07:00

not really his favorite {he kind of "threw it together" as he says, but i still think it turned out pretty cute}

it was happy birthday to our friend's daughter addison, who turned two. {celebrated over two months late. who does that?? :)}

ready for church.

2010-11-14T15:05:00.000-07:00

not ready...

2010-11-13T08:18:00.001-07:00

...for all the hats, gloves and gear that comes with winter. we have scaped by for quite a while, but unfortunately i think it's finally here to stay. boo.
good thing she looks pretty cute in the little beanie. {sampling the snow}

rockin' the john deere cowboy boots from aunt callie. she would be so proud.

love this little {underbite} smile...even at 2am.

first haircut...and she LOVED it...not.

2010-11-07T21:03:00.001-07:00

i finally decided the mullet needed to go...plus i think it will grow better with a little trim.

not too thrilled...

grandma's attempt to distract with "popcorn popping," but instead, she started swaying her head to the beat...not so conducive for hair cutting!

poor child...putting her through this torture!

tell us how you really feel. {snot boogers and all}

{thanks aunt holly}

the bath.

2010-11-06T10:51:00.002-06:00

the cheeser.

the crusty.

the bum.

the naughty girl with the BIG belly. {she flat out refuses to sit in the bathtub majority of the time now}

the sweet hair.

the silly girl.

the pretty girl with the long, dark eyelashes i envy.

{the little "censors" weird?? i don't know...better than leaving uncensored i guess}

happy halloween.

2010-10-31T17:10:00.001-06:00

ward trunk or treat

he was orginally supposed to be the fat sumo, but he thought it would be funny to switch things up.

happy cows come from colorado.

if only she really knew what this was all about.

little lucy and brecken. cow twinners.

next: Justin and Melissa's Party
levi had an excuse to make another cake. he took apart a candy bowl that had the skull hand in it, when you went to reach for a piece, the hand came down and made noises, pretty clever.

justin and melissa. the outlet and plug. hmm, not sure if that had a double meaning :)

john lennon and his super attractive wife.

good thing the chair didn't break :)

today: community halloween party, where levi works.

the only pic i got of my super sexy husband in his super sexy costume.

grandma gail and b.

grandma, brecken, lucy and aspen.

the cutest cow i've ever seen.

last: trick or treating to a few houses around the neighborhood this evening for levi...ahem, i mean brecken, for some more candy.

chistmas card, family pictures {rejects}

2010-10-31T12:29:00.002-06:00

but still love these...

no nap=fun for all. believe me, we tried to lay her down before, but it didn't work.

dad, i'm so over this. {what's up with the crazy ghost hand and killer look?}

really, leave me alone!

{thanks to taylor & gabi for letting us use your cute place. we love, love it out there! and thanks to gail for all the help!}

first carousel ride

2010-10-30T08:41:00.000-06:00

terrible pictures, but documented none the less :) levi said she kept saying, "weee." so precious, that little voice of hers.

rocking chair.

2010-10-30T08:26:00.000-06:00

this is my rocking chair when i was little, from my mama (pronounced mawmaw). she has been obsessed with it ever since i pulled it out. she also loves necklaces and jewelry. she knows exactly what to do with them. we were at the store last night and she went up to a wall of jewelry and was oohhing and ahhing over everything. uh oh, we are in trouble. where can she possibly learn this things?? :)

grandma gail's annual halloween fun

2010-10-18T21:08:00.000-06:00

levi's forked eyeball creation (donut holes dipped in white chocolate)

levi's mummy fingers (string cheese with green bell pepper)

holly's ghost brownies

melissa's yummy calzone snake with hairy witches fingers (garlic bread)

the crew (wow, i must have been bored tonight, aren't i funny?? ha)

oh look, i finally made it in a picture.

the pumpkin patch

2010-10-16T16:13:00.000-06:00

grandy came to visit!

our visit wouldn't have been complete without some dirty looks from b. thanks, we love you too.

2010-10-16T10:12:00.001-06:00

i've been meaning to update this week, but levi FINALLY got his port removed on monday. no more alien implantation device in his chest. and i no longer have to politely decline his invitation to touch his port on a daily basis, ha. the procedure was quick and easy and we are glad to have that one last thing behind us.

iPhone randoms

2010-10-06T17:05:00.005-06:00

saving that noodle for later

remember the pink balloon that would never die? yes, it had to take a bath with us.
and daddy turned around while picking vegetables to find brecky chomping on a nice, ripe tomato.

skeleton baby

2010-10-05T20:13:00.003-06:00

can i even still call her a baby??

how freakin' cute are these pj's?

the surprised look i FINALLY got on camera.

goose egg.

2010-10-04T21:30:00.002-06:00

poor baby got her first pretty bad bonks tonight.

however, you can tell she feels fine now!